I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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