My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
