So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
