as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Randomize
