isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
