when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I wish i was in the wii world.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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