8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
