what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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