Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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