Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
3 2 1 whiskey
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
