Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
