dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
