it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
