think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
