If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
