Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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