Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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