1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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