Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
