i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
