I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Is it because I queefed?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
