You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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