i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
