You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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