I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
