Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Text me some of your sweat
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