just come out here and I will go home with you...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
