Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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