sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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