So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
