from now on my penis is your penis
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Someone signed my nipple.
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