Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
