even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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