if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize