Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
