I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
