next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
being pregnant is like rehab
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
