I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
