He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
