Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
