Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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