I'm lost and stupid without you.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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