She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
