You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
