I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
