how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
