i'm signing you up for texting rehab
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
be right there i have to get my cape
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
