Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
