just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
