This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
