I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
