I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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