It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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