She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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