I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
