can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
