Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
