Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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