You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
