When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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