My boss' voice literally gives me gas
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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