Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize