so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
