It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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