I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
