Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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