we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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