Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
