So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
