i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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