Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
