she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
