didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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