I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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