Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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