trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
